Doro
began coaching in 2001. She
is a certified
graduate of Coach Inc. and internationally certified
through the International
Coach Federation.
Her
coaching experience includes thousands of
hours with hundreds of clients including entrepreneurs, professionals,
executives, politicians, artists and
spiritual seekers from all over the world.
Her
coaching strengths include life balance, new
and broader perspective, mindfulness with present
moment awareness, stress reduction and
recapturing the sense of well being and self
integration.
Her
style of coaching involves a mindfulness
based
approach, which inspires new insights; the keys for
unlocking the doors for change.
She
began meditating in 1979 at age 23 and
completed the Advanced Teacher Training Course
at the Bhavana Buddhist Monastery in 2002.
Doro's
original background is in the health care
field of occupational therapy beginning in 1980.
She specialized in assistive technology in pediatrics
through gerontology.
My
Personal Philosophy
I
tend to work most effectively with clients who,
at some point in their life, have experienced some
kind of awakening no matter how fleeting; an
experienced that gave a glimpse into life's much
bigger picture. By having this experience they're able
to, at least occasionally, remember that being alive
on this tiny blue ball we call earth is a miracle and
a privilege in the vast scheme of things. This
awakened perspective plants the seed for attaining
real happiness.
Happiness-
in the way I view and experience it- is
a deep inner joy; a sense of serenity when we view
life as a witness to the unfolding dramas of life
rather than grasping at them with full self identification. Although
the giddiness, glee, gaiety or exuberance we experienced after achieving
a goal or attaining something
we've desired is quite fun and deserves to be fully
highlighted and enjoyed, the deeper, more important
kind of happiness I encourage is achievable when we
are able to see and acknowledge life from a much
broader perspective.
Happiness
is the ultimate goal. The meditation and
spiritual coaching I offer often involves a sincere look
at your life actions, beliefs and thoughts and how
they support or hinder your quest for happiness.
Life
is a dream. E=Mc2. Matter and energy are the
same. Nothing is 'real' but that we perceive it to be
so. And in this dream we are free to experience
heavens and hells of any magnitude. Our experience
is pre-paved by our thoughts, feeling, attitudes,
perceptions, beliefs and expectations. Without these
there is no identity, no two, no dance. So, in this
dream we create our great passions and struggles.
We convince ourselves it's all quite real until we
remember it's not. Then suddenly we see...there
is more.
My Personal History
I
was born in Long Island, NY in 1954 and raised outside
New York City. My father, Richard
Kiley, was one of
Broadway's finest actor/singers and Hollywood's film
actors. He is also famous as the original singer of The
Impossible Dream. (It's no wonder I believe anything
is possible!). Up to the age of 14, I was raised among
the most famous and wealthy of stage and film.
At
the age of 14 my parents divorced. For a while my
mother found her own identity as a strong political
campaigner, writer and activist until she became ill
with emphysema.
Most
of my childhood was a blur of shaking hands with
faces I'd seen on stage and television, theater parties,
embassy dinners and parties at the White House. I
spent countless nights backstage on Broadway, days
behind the studio cameras in Hollywood and evenings
with friends whose parents were foreign ambassadors
and politicians.
Two
years after my parents divorced, my life with my
mother and 5 siblings began plunging in and out of
financial chaos. My mother was a highly adored socialite
and lover of life but had no sense of financial balance
and planning. The ebb and flow of money took us from
1st class vacations around the world to cooking hot-dogs
in the fire place when the heat and electricity were shut
off. We went from living in a 52 room mansion with our
maid to living in a friend's basements and motels. We
went from having
to go to work as waitresses
and cashiers
to put food on the table then back to red-carpet
galleries,
travel, gifts and indulgences and then back into poverty
again.
But
beyond the experiences of loss and gain, both my
parents instilled in me a perception of life as a creative adventure
and a spiritual challenge. I took this challenge
to heart at the young age of 13 and launched myself into
a spiritual quest in pursuit of the impossible dream;
complete fulfillment; that elusive butterfly of real happiness.
The result was a profound spiritual awakening in 1979 at
age 25. My Spiritual Quest .
In 1981 I moved to France for 10 years while raising 3
wonderful children who are now having children of their
own. I live a simple life tucked deep in the beautiful
Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia with my loving cat and
dog from the animal shelter.
My other joys in life are scuba diving, gardening and
watching the sun rise.
My
Spiritual Quest
Important to me was the fact that
my parents where both deeply spiritual people in their own unusual
ways - and in the early 50s they were very ahead of their time.
They both shared a deep curiosity about the mysteries of the universe
and what part our minds played in the workings of all that.
I remember in the 1950's my father was already exploring meditation,
yoga and the great philosophers and gurus. My mother immersed herself
in a plethora of spiritual paths; the teachings of Jesus, psychic
phenomenon, astrology, palmistry, acupuncture and the Chi of the
Chinese meridians.
I'd
have to say that the spiritual perspectives and curiosity they shared
in combination was the foundation of whatever I perceive my 'self'
to be now. Their encouragement for me (and all my siblings) to find
the perfect spiritual path for each one of us set the standard long
ago for what I (we) are today.
To make a long story short I tried many churches and read the Bible
twice through. I watched every religious movie about Jesus, Gandhi
and the Dalai Lama. I found some 'gems' from everything I studied
that resonated 'true' and a lot that didn't. The stories about Jesus
were quite inspiring and I felt (and still feel) connected to the
spirit of those stories but the open hearted connection wouldn't
last. The stories were enough to inspire me but not 'complete me'.
I didn't want to just be inspired. If anything I wanted to know
how to 'be' Jesus. I really wanted to understand why he was the
way he was. So, the search for somehow feeling 'complete' kept eluding
me.
I studied astrology, numerology, palmistry, biorhythms, the paranormal
and psychic phenomenon, angels, fairies, imps and demons; I engaged
in witchcraft and paganism. They were all fascinating and I believe
real and true but didn't really do much for me. In the 60's I tried
drugs and explored a lot of different drug induced states of consciousness.
Yes, I even went to Woodstock.
I studied the Vedic gods and goddesses, the Mahabharata, the Bhagavad
Gita, the Ramayana and a lot of the teachers and gurus that went
with them. I studied Dreams and Jungian therapy, I took T'ai Chi
and studied massage, the Chinese meridians, EFT and all kinds of
alternative health approached to spiritual/emotional/physical balance.
Still, no feeling of completeness; only a little fascination and
satisfaction of my curiosity for a while.
In 1975 my
mother introduced me to a new book called the Tao of Physics. She
said it was 'evidence' that the mind was the builder and the destroyer
of the universe; something she had always believed in and her father,
a doctor, had taught her. The subject of Quantum Physics postulates
that we are creating our life experience through the power of our
mind; like a dream. That perked up my interest more in 'mind as
the builder' and later, I came across the Abraham Hicks teachings
about the 'The Law of Allowing', 'The Law of Attraction' and the
'Law of Segment Intending'. And though I found it fascinating and
had seen decades of consistent evidence to back it up- I knew it
was true- but I still felt like something else was missing.
In the late 70's in the midst of all my intense yoga and meditation
I had an awakening. During a Conscious Living/Conscious Dying retreat
with Steven Levine, while in meditation and following my breath
I became very concentrated, I saw my breath fading into nothing
and slowly stop, there was a soft "whoosh" is my ears
and a flash of light and I slipped into a profound state of absorption.
It was a state of peace and 'softness' like I'd never known before.
My physical pain from sitting was transformed into 'just energy'.
I could have sat forever. I was 'complete'- no thought, no time,
no desire to do or be anything. The sense of peace and absolute
fulfillment was all pervasive. The needy 'little me' was gone.
After a while I heard Steven's soft voice- instructing us to come
out of meditation. The world began to slowly reappear and the sense
of 'me' gradually reconstructed itself. Soon afterward I had the
opportunity to ask Steven. I told him I'd stopped breathing and
he said "Just watch it". Afterward I wondered if I was really dying
and going into 'the light' and that perhaps I just hadn't conveyed
this to him clearly enough since he was telling me to just watch
it. Was he really saying go ahead and die? After all I was at a
conscious dying retreat! He said, "Just watch it." I could feel
a slight twinge in me and felt a realization that I wasn't completely
ready for that.
Yet something has remained changed. I began seeing and experienced
things very differently, with a profound connection to people and
things around me. Everything was 'transparent' and all the movement
and activities around me were unfolding out of nothingness. There
was no judgment. I was simply a witness to the movement around me
and the energy of my senses. I had no more desire to smoke (I was
a heavy smoker), I had no desire to eat; I lost 15 lb.. I was complete
and content with a sense of profound peace. Everything I perceived
was somehow an extension of myself in a state of profound equanimity.
After some time I began pondering what Steven had said, "Just
watch it." And I wondered if he'd understood me or perhaps
he wasn't familiar with this type of experience or maybe it really
shouldn't matter if I did just die. Even though I continued to enjoy
the peaceful effects, over time I slowly became increasingly concerned
about "what if I stop breathing and die while I'm in meditation?".
I can see now that this was the remains of my ego fighting for its
life and struggling to recreate itself and in fact all I really
needed was let it go.
Instead I slowly began wondering if I was "losing my mind".
My search for understanding intensified. I began to read and read
anything I could find about death and life transitions, the afterlife,
world-melt-downs, spiritual crisis, the dissolution of the ego.
In college I studied normal, developmental and abnormal psychology.
Then in the mid 90s, I began exploring Theravada Buddhism more intensely.
Theravada Buddhism includes Vispassana; also known as Insight meditation
which I was already familiar with. Vispassana is what I had been
practicing with Steven Levine in the 70s. It's often the meditation
practice of choice used by such teachers as Ram Dass, Thich Nhat
Hahn, John Cabot-Zinn, S.N. Goenka, Jack Cornfield, Joseph Goldstein,
Tara Brach, Eckhart Tolle and many more.
Vipassana,
as with Zen, gives rise to a deep understanding (insight) of the
nature of impermanence and selflessness, the transitory/ unsatisfactory
nature of all things. It provides a way of seeing life as 'passing
show' while being a still and centered witness to phenomenon. It's
the seventh step on the Eightfold Path just prior to the last step
which I was not familiar with; Concentration and the Jhanas.
In 1999 I was continuing my Buddhist studies at a Theravada Buddhist
Monastery called The Bhavana Society. I attended a discourse given
by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana (Bhante G). In that discourse I found
my answer. Bhante G was talking about something I'd never explored.
It was; Jhana meditation. It turns out to be the last step of the
Eightfold Path. He described the experience as follows,
"In
Jhana meditation while concentrating on one point in your breath
you will see your breath fading and may slowly seem to stop, there
may be a flash of light and you may slip into a deep state of
absorption. It's a state of deep peace and your physical pains
will be sensation only. That's the first stage of enlightenment."
That was it. That was the answer I was looking for. I continued
to study and completed the Bhavana's Society's Advanced Teacher
Training Course in the summer of 2002.
I have come to see the importance of cultivating the heart as an
integral part of awakening. It is this understanding that has guided
me toward supporting the efforts of people in search of deeper meaning
in a way that also supports and integrates into my livelihood -
life coaching.
The meditation and coaching I offer now often involves a deep look
at actions, beliefs and thoughts and how they might be supporting
or hindering progress toward our ultimate goal- happiness.
Since my awakening in 1979 I have observed life's dreamlike
nature. Awakening rarely happens all at once. More common is a series
of small awakenings like pealing away layers of an onion. Such has
been my case. However, as Ram Dass once so aptly stated, "Once
you wake up you can never go completely back to sleep. You can try
but you can't"
In my experience meditation practice with the cultivation of the
heart and mindfulness is the only way to stay comfortably awake.
Without it we drift back into semi-dreamlike confusion and cannot
easily discern illusion from reality.
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our
thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with an impure mind and trouble will follow you as
the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.
Speak and act with a pure mind and happiness will follow you as
your shadow; unshakable."
~ Dhammapada ~
